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Welcome

I hope you have all had a great week! It has been a busy one for me over the past few weeks with a lot going on a work as well as the need to travel for various different events and meetings through to a lot happening within personal life.

This week I want to delve into something that yes I have previously written about here, but on reflection and having seen some personal interactions as well as stories that I have heard around communicating. It got me thinking about the 5 Love Languages.

If you haven’t read this book would highly recommend reading!

In this book the author talks about us all having our own love languages. There are 5 in essence which are:

• Physical touch

• Words of affirmation

• Gifts

• Acts of service

• Quality time

In essence we communicate our love using the language that you would expect from your partner, obviously if your love language is gifts and your partners is quality time then giving them gifts is not speaking their love language. Hence issues within demonstrating and communicating love.

This got me thinking about the ways we communicate within the work place and as leaders how we communicate. Are we not speaking how our staff are not expecting us to communicate?

Why its important to communicate well

For me communication is as the core of everything as a leader. Need to give feedback, you need to know how to communicate, need to drive a vision its the old communication again. If you are not able to communicate what you need to or even worse think that you have but the team walk away confused…you have a problem.

I have seen and coached leaders that have not been effective communicators. The hardest ones have been those where they have felt their communication was on point. But when I got feedback from the team the things they said was:

• Goals and objectives have been unclear

• I felt that they said one thing but meant something else

• We are always confused and often re-group to figure out what needs to be done

Imagine if your team were talking about you like that behind your back or after meetings. Not a great team environment there.

This is why communication skills are key to leadership, we always talk about them and highlight them but we put the emphasis on communicating vs how to communicate. There is a subtle difference with this.

For me the difference comes down to understanding your team and the way they like to be communicated too. To know this you will have to spend time getting to know them, asking them questions and seeing how they interact when you communicate.

The First Time Manager Communication Languages

Being inspired by the 5 Love Languages I have created a communication language guide to help new leaders ensure that your style of communication is aligned with your teams. Within this I have detailed down some additional tips and guidance in best ways for the different communication languages.

1. The “Clarity First” Communicator

Description: These individuals prefer direct, specific information. They thrive on clarity, knowing exactly what is expected, and dislike ambiguity.

How to Communicate:

• Be Direct and Precise: When working with “Clarity First” communicators, be specific about expectations, deadlines, and goals.

• Avoid Vague Language: Words like “maybe” or “possibly” can create confusion. Use concrete language that conveys certainty.

Tip: Consider using bullet points or numbered steps in written communication to make your expectations crystal clear.

2. The “Encouragement First” Communicator

Description: These team members respond best to positive reinforcement and recognition. They feel motivated when their efforts are acknowledged.

How to Communicate:

• Provide Regular Praise: Show appreciation for their efforts, even for small wins, to boost their confidence and morale.

• Give Constructive Feedback Carefully: When giving feedback, start with a positive note, then provide suggestions in a way that’s supportive.

Tip: Don’t wait for formal reviews to recognize good work—send a quick message or mention it in team meetings.

3. The “Context and Connection” Communicator

Description: This group values background information and context. They’re interested in the “why” behind decisions and like to see how their work fits into the bigger picture.

How to Communicate:

• Provide Background Information: Before asking them to complete a task, explain why it’s important and how it contributes to team goals.

• Encourage Questions: Make space for them to ask questions to fully understand the purpose and importance of their work.

Tip: When introducing a new project, start by explaining its significance and impact on the team or company.

4. The “Problem-Solver” Communicator

Description: Problem-solvers thrive on autonomy and prefer getting to the root of challenges independently. They value flexibility and the freedom to explore solutions.

How to Communicate:

• Encourage Autonomy: Provide guidance but let them take ownership of finding solutions. Avoid micromanaging.

• Frame Challenges: Present tasks as challenges to solve rather than prescriptive assignments.

Tip: Ask questions like “How would you approach this?” to empower them to think critically and independently.

5. The “Connection First” Communicator

Description: For these team members, relationships and rapport are essential. They communicate best when they feel connected to their manager and colleagues.

How to Communicate:

• Foster Personal Connections: Take time to get to know them on a personal level and check in regularly.

• Engage in Small Talk: Start meetings with a few minutes of casual conversation to build rapport.

Tip: Ask about their weekend or interests to build a stronger connection, making work-related communication more effective and open.

Adapting Your Communication Style as a Manager

Understanding these “communication languages” can help you tailor your approach, but it’s equally important to ask your team directly about their preferences. Consider having a conversation with each team member to learn how they prefer to receive feedback, updates, and guidance.

Tips for Effective Communication with Diverse Styles:

• Observe and Ask: Notice patterns in how team members react to different types of communication. Don’t be afraid to ask about their preferences directly.

• Be Consistent but Flexible: Keep your communication style consistent to avoid confusion, but adjust to individual needs when possible.

• Use Multiple Formats: Some team members may prefer face-to-face conversations, while others prefer written communication. Use a mix of email, meetings, and quick messages to accommodate different preferences.

If you have been enjoying this content and the newsletter I would love to hear from you.

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Book Recommendation

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler

Overview: Crucial Conversations is a guide to navigating challenging conversations with clarity, empathy, and confidence. The authors provide a framework for handling high-stakes discussions where opinions vary, emotions run high, and the outcome matters. This book is especially useful for managers who want to communicate effectively in tense or important situations.

3 Key Takeaways:

1. Master Your Emotions: Understanding your emotions before a conversation can help prevent defensiveness and allow you to respond calmly and constructively.

2. Create a Safe Environment: The book offers techniques to make team members feel safe sharing their opinions, which is essential for open and productive dialogue.

3. Encourage Mutual Purpose: Establish common goals in the conversation to keep discussions solution-focused and prevent misunderstandings.

Crucial Conversations provides you with tools to navigate complex communication challenges and adapt your style to develop understanding and clarity with your teams.

And that’s a wrap for this week!

Until next week have a great week and ensure that you are checking in with your teams

This is your public reminder to check-in with your teams but more importantly how are you doing?