Welcome

Welcome to this weeks newsletter and for many people that follow me on LinkedIn you will know that I write not just about leadership things but also about Mental Health. My focus here is mostly men’s mental health (after all we are the worst at communicating and solutions focussed with problems, which is why men are more susceptible to suicide than women!).

I focus on writing for managers and new leaders because there aren't many tools and resources available to help them. I want to support them and make sure they take burnout and mental health issues seriously.

Personally I have had really great managers and some really terrible ones. The ones that were terrible really had a detrimental impact on my mental health. Their only focus was on them and not on the team. (Think of my prior post about changing your mindset from me to we).

And so today I want to spend time looking at how as a leader you focus on your own self-care. By focussing on you and your self-care you are setting the example for the rest of the team to model and drive.

A lot of experiences come from what I have experienced, they may well not be right but they aren’t wrong either. A lot of this is understanding your context and situation. As someone that has made three attempts at my life being able to but in self-care is truly important.

Let’s jump in and look at how you can use self-care to improve your skills as a leader.

Why Self-care?

Self-care is hugely important not just for leaders but everyone. Stress in life is commons and will not be going anywhere. But we all need to know how we manage this stress and how we react to it. Knowing us and how we work is really important.

In life we have a huge amount of stressors. These play a negative part in our day to day, if we only had stress then where is the good things that have the balance. In the pie chart listed below a simple look at a busy family with children and busy work load there is nothing that creates the balance. This chart on the left is only stressors. And guess what happens to that person who only has stressors? Burnout and mental crash. If you are a man chances are when this hits, if you have no elements of self care this will lead to what is known as a stress break. As a male, in particular, this can result in suicide attempts.

But by incorporating self-care you can allow yourself to increase your own resiliency, this means you can manage your own stress levels further. From my time of coaching leaders and more importantly first time managers, when things get really busy the very first thing that goes is self-care.

The key thing to know is that its self-care is the thing that will get you through the challenges you face. It’s the thing that will help you to navigate the day to day challenges.

By focussing on self care you will see great improvements in the way that you lead but also the outcomes:

• Reduces Burnout

• Improves decision making ability

• Increased resilience

What is self-care?

Very simply self-care is doing things that will give you energy. This can be anything from:

• Hobbies like sports, gym etc

• Getting outdoors

• Mindfulness

• Spending time with friends and family

• Talking with others about your stressors

Self-care is about deliberately taking time to nurture your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. It's recognising that to lead effectively, you need to be at your best, and that means recharging your batteries regularly. This could be as simple as taking a brisk walk during lunch, setting aside time to read a book, or practising mindfulness to reduce stress. For you as a leader, self-care is a proactive approach to maintaining health and vitality, ensuring you're equipped to handle the responsibilities of your role.

What self-care isn't is a luxury or an act of selfishness. It's not about indulging in extravagance or neglecting your responsibilities under the guise of "me time." Nor is it a one-off activity you do only when you're already burnt out. Self-care isn't a sign of weakness; it's not about admitting defeat but about sustaining your strength. It's important to dispel the myth that relentless work without breaks equates to dedication. In reality, neglecting self-care can lead to decreased productivity and effectiveness.

By knowing that self-care is a necessary component of effective leadership, you can model healthy behaviours for your team. It's about finding a balance—taking care of yourself so you can take care of your team. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup, so keeping it full benefits not just you but everyone around you.

Tips for doing self-care well

But knowing that self-care is important is one thing but actually doing it and setting yourself up well for this is another thing.

Here are some tips to help you get started and into the groove of doing self-care well:

• Schedule Downtime

  Block out time in your calendar for activities that recharge you—whether that's reading a book, going for a walk, or practising a hobby.

• Mindfulness and Meditation

  Even just 10 minutes a day of mindfulness or meditation can reduce stress and improve focus. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you.

• Stay Active

  Regular physical activity is a great stress reliever. Find something you enjoy, be it yoga, cycling, or a simple daily walk.

• Healthy Boundaries

  Learn to say no. You don't have to be available 24/7. Setting boundaries helps prevent burnout.

• Get Enough Sleep

  Aim for 7-9 hours per night. Quality sleep is non-negotiable for mental and physical health.

Holding yourself accountable for self-care

For me when I went through my last crisis moving into self-care was not normal or something that I could do well. In order to do this not just for me but also my family and team I knew that there had to be some elements of accountability.

This is the hardest part, being accountable to do what you were going to do. Here are some tips that helped me when I first started out:

1. Set Personal Goals

   Just like you set professional goals, set self-care goals. Write them down and track your progress.

2. Use Technology

   Utilise apps and trackers to monitor your wellbeing—whether it's a fitness app, a sleep tracker, or a mindfulness reminder.

3. Share Your Commitment

   Tell a friend or colleague about your self-care goals. They can help keep you accountable and maybe even join you.

4. Reflect Regularly

   Take time each week to reflect on how you're feeling and what's working or not working in your self-care routine.

5. Lead Discussions on Wellbeing

   Bring up the topic of self-care in team meetings. Encourage your team to share their own tips and practices.

Bonus tip speak with others about what you are doing and have an accountability partner that holds you accountable to all the things you need to be effective.

Hopefully you found this weeks newsletter helpful and something that you can leverage and apply.

Just remember:

Book Recommendation

This week following on the points of self-care is a great read for those that want to know and apply mindfulness more into their day or even have some tips for self-care things.

"The Leader's Guide to Mindfulness: How to Use Soft Skills to Get Hard Results" by Audrey Tang

Summary

Audrey Tang's book is a practical guide that introduces mindfulness as a tool for effective leadership. It delves into how being present and aware can enhance not only your personal wellbeing but also your leadership skills. The book is packed with exercises and real-life examples to help you integrate mindfulness into your daily routine.

Three Key Takeaways

1. Mindful Awareness Enhances Leadership

   • Application: Practise being fully present in meetings and interactions. This means active listening and engaging fully with your team, which can improve communication and trust.

2. Emotional Regulation Leads to Better Decisions

   • Application: Use mindfulness techniques to manage stress and emotions. This helps in making clear, rational decisions even under pressure.

3. Cultivating Compassion Improves Team Dynamics

   • Application: Show empathy towards your team members. Understanding their perspectives fosters a supportive environment and can boost morale and productivity.

That’s a wrap for this week.

PS If you are starting out in your role as a leader for the first time then you will love my free email course - The First 90 Days.