Welcome

For those that have been signed up to this newsletter for awhile, you will know that one of my biggest areas that I cover is communication. Communication is hugely important not just in work but also our personal relationships. You get this right then not just work but all areas of your life will improve.

When I first started leading, I moved into the role and had some discussions with the team on changes that I wanted to make. It was the right decision. I wanted to move responsibilities across the team and have a better coverage and equal stakeholders. It made sense and everyone agreed with it.

When I came to deliver the message my message was simply:

This is the right decision and new alignment. So let’s go out and communicate these updates to our stakeholders.

That was my communication on changes to the team and who they covered. I thought given I spoke with a lot of them and there was a lot of agreement. But in that meeting I faced a barrage of questions and was told afterwards that it went down like a lead ballon.

My issue wasn’t the plan or the idea, it was how I communicated it to those in my team. I didn’t hit the things that they were looking for. And I should have.

This week, we’re going a step into my favourite and topic I speak about a lot: not everyone communicates in the same way.

How many of you are on the same page when you communicate with your team or your personal life? This week I want to give you some things that will help you improve.

The 5 Communication Styles in Leadership

Here are five broad categories of communication preferences, inspired by concepts like the Love Languages (I am still playing around with the names and areas). These styles can help you identify the best ways to engage with your team members, peers, or even your family.

1. Words of Affirmation: The Verbal Communicator

• Traits: These individuals thrive on positive feedback, encouragement, and clear verbal acknowledgment. They often feel valued when their efforts are noticed and praised.

How to Connect:

• Give genuine compliments or recognition in meetings or one-on-one settings.

• Use specific, meaningful language, such as “Your input on this project made a huge difference because…”.

• Avoid vague or insincere praise, it can come across as hollow.

2. Quality Time: The Relationship Builder

• Traits: People with this style value undivided attention. They feel most connected when you make time to focus solely on them.

How to Connect:

• Schedule regular check-ins that aren’t rushed, ask about their goals, challenges, or even their weekend.

• Be present. Put the phone away, turn off notifications, and truly listen.

• Avoid multitasking during conversations, it sends the wrong message.

3. Acts of Service: The Action-Oriented Communicator

• Traits: These individuals appreciate actions that make their lives easier or demonstrate care through effort.

How to Connect:

• Offer to support them with specific tasks or challenges, like helping to prioritise workloads.

• Follow through on commitments, being reliable speaks volumes to them.

• Avoid empty promises or taking over unnecessarily; they value partnership, not control.

4. Physical Expression: The Contextual Communicator

Traits: While not literally about physical touch, these individuals respond to nonverbal cues like body language, eye contact, and a warm, approachable presence.

How to Connect:

• Use open, welcoming body language in conversations.

• Be mindful of tone and facial expressions, showing enthusiasm or empathy goes a long way.

• Avoid closed-off gestures like crossing your arms or looking distracted.

5. Tangible Rewards: The Results-Focused Communicator

Traits: These individuals are motivated by concrete outcomes or tokens of appreciation. They feel seen when their work leads to visible results or rewards.

How to Connect:

• Acknowledge achievements with tangible rewards, like bonuses, certificates, or even a heartfelt thank-you card.

• Tie recognition to clear outcomes, e.g., “Because of your efforts, we exceeded our target by 20%.”

• Avoid forgetting to celebrate wins, this style needs those moments of recognition.

Why This Matters

Leaders often default to communicating in their preferred style rather than adapting to those around them. By doing so, we unintentionally miss opportunities to truly connect. Just like building trust or managing conflict, effective communication is about meeting people where they are.

When you adjust your communication style to suit others, you:

• Build stronger relationships.

• Reduce misunderstandings.

• Motivate and inspire individuals based on their unique preferences.

Key Tips for Adapting Communication Styles

• Ask and Observe: Pay attention to how team members respond to different types of communication. Ask what they find most helpful or motivating.

• Keep It Personal: Tailor your approach. What works for one person might alienate another.

• Use a Mix of Styles: Don’t over-rely on one style; balance is key in team settings.

• Seek Feedback: Regularly ask if your communication is clear and effective. It shows you care about improving.

Pause and Reflect

1. Which of these communication styles resonates most with you personally?

2. Think of a colleague or team member; can you identify their preferred communication style?

3. How might adapting your style improve your interactions this week?

Action Step: Implement a 30-Day Communication Challenge

Over the next month, commit to identifying the communication style of at least one person each week. Try tailoring your interactions to their preferences and note the difference in their responses and engagement.

Article of the week

I came across this report / article from HBR, yes this is 2023 but it got me thinking about the skills startup leaders and aspiring leaders in particular should be thinking about.

What are your thoughts on these? Are these skills you seek from your leaders? Do you have them yourself?

Let me know what you think in the comments

And that’s a wrap for this week.

Have a great week refining your communication skills! Keep leading with intention and impact.

PS I have just completed my Startup Leader Tool Kit; this is a one stop shop for 1:1’s, having difficult conversations and much more. It should give you the tools and frameworks to operate effectively as a leader. Get it here for FREE.

PPS This year I have decided to look into other areas of support for Startup leaders and aspiring leaders. Check out my store here for more things I am launching.